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One of the products that gathered some media buzz at the recent Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas was the new Taser/mp3 combo Taser C2. (Technically, the mp3 player is in the carrying case, or holster. But you can get the Taser in leopard skin.)

Obviously aimed at the trendy authority figure, the device will let law enforcement listen to their favourite Genesis tracks as they zap Polish travellers to death in a Vancouver airport. Surely, a must-have, even if it's just to drown out the screams. (Of course, I wouldn't dare try a firmware update.)

But as bad as the musical stun gun is, there is worse. And to prove it, here's my list of the worst tech of all time:

5. Nano babies

One of the most utterly atrocious invention was the nano baby. Actually, there were many other brands � Tamagotchi, Giga-pet etc. - but essentially they were all small crappy, tiny electronic babies or pets you had to give attention to by pressing a button non-stop, otherwise it would start crying or whining and then die or go on to live an unhappy life. Or some such thing. It was big with pre-teens in the '90s but I have no idea why.

4. The auto-dialer

A staple of the telemarketer, the auto-dialer does exactly what you would expect. It automatically calls phone numbers and plays a pre-recorded message. This message usually is a sales pitch of some kind that will most likely come while you're trying to eat dinner or watching House.

3. Microsoft Bob

Although, technically not a device, Microsoft Bob makes the list because it was just so damn annoying. Designed as a sort of assistant program for Windows 3.1 and 95, it used cartoon guides, such as a rat who plays guitar and a coffee-addicted dragon to help inexperienced users navigate the OS. But the program was so intrusive it made it difficult to get anything done. This product essentially was the basis for the downgraded, but the still much-hated paperclip assistant, Clippy, that came with Microsoft Office 97.

2. The car alarm

The inventor of this so needs to be smacked. Sure, I understand that people don't want their car stolen, but this obnoxious siren only creates noise pollution. By going off at the slightest gust of wind or bird landing on the windshield, it's like the alarm that cried wolf. When someone actually does try to steal your car, no one will think it's for real. Not even you. (Now maybe if maybe you combined a Taser with the security system so people get shocked when they try to break in, that might actually work. It could be like in that ad for MagnaVolt in Robocop 2, though it would probably be best if the would-be thief doesn't actually get fried to a crisp.)

1. The Macintosh computer

Although Apple used to come out with decent computers, this one, which debuted in 1984, is little more than an over-sized paperweight. In an attempt to make the computer more compact, the Macintosh was a single piece of hardware with a monitor built into the unit. I personally believe this is why the screensaver was invented as it was impossible to turn off the monitor without turning off the computer. So Apple needed something to keep the image from being burned into the screen. The Macintosh, of course, spawned several successors, which had superior graphics, fancier monitors with neon colours and most importantly, higher prices, as this computer marked the first Apple that didn't allow clones.

About G4 in Canada
G4 Canada (formerly TechTV Canada) launched in September 2001. G4 is the one and only television station that is plugged into every dimension of games, gear, gadgets and gigabytes. Owned Rogers Media Inc., the channel airs more than 24 original series. G4 is available on digital cable and satellite. For more information, see www.g4tv.ca.

Tech News on G4

Worst tech of all time

January 14, 2008

By Adam Swimmer - G4 Canada